hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
