matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
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I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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