i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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