there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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