THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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