my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
