i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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