I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
