You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
