i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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