I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
