I got chris browned last night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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