Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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