3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
