How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
