An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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