Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
