My room smells like vodka and shame
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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