drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
