Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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