took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
