we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
