I'm going to jail i love you
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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