Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
