I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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