Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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