Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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