You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
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You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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