you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Are we still banned from the library?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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