It's just like the Real World with babies
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize