Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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