Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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