All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
