Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
