I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
