Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
