debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
