I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
