When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
