I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
