fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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