if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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