"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
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