Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
