You're completely useless in the revolution.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
