I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
