READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
