listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
