party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
