Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
