The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
