dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
