she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
