he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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