The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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