Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
