There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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