My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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