Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I need a beard to bite.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
