note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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