okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
