Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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