I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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