oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
