She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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